TRY ME

It's so hot in here
Then why am I so cold?
Everyone's smiling
Then why do I feel so much hate?
Everyone is nice to me
Then why do I feel so much anger?
Is it me that is so opposite?
Or I am the only one?
The one that can see through it?
The coldness behing the heat
The corruption behing the smiles
The jealousy behind the goodness
All is a plotting against everything
Waiting for the right moment to demolish
Everything that was built, all to finish
To shatter dreams
All to satisfy the beast inside
No, they are not fooling me
Can try to do everything to wreck me
But leave only with the gain of a bankruptcy
For the ones that underestimate me...
Why don't you try me...?

NOT ALIVE ANYMORE

Left alone again, all alone
Crying in this corner
Insecure and on my own
Disturbed and restless
Frightened to the bone
Dealing with a monster left unknown
Motionless as a stillborn
Tears are the only signs of life shown
Feeling so ripped and torn
I don't think I'm alive anymore...

Merry Christmas '07

I don't really celebrate this holiday, but what the heck...
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! =)

EITHER WAY

I am here again, on my own
Walking on the same path
Feeling the same wrath
I feel like I'm split in half
There is not a trace of laugh
But nor an incoming tear bath
Either way nothing is in my behalf
You do the math...

A Heroine to Save Us

We all need a hero to fix things when they go wrong, right? Guess this is my version of a hero... Kind of like the one in "Locking Up the Sun", huh? :D

Breakaway

I give you "Breakaway". I draw myself at this one. This drawing represents me and how I really feel inside. All dark within and independent on the outside; but truly, my hands are tied and I can't seem to find a way out. This pretty much summarizes it I guess.

WHAT I BELIEVE IN

Everything terrifies me, everything I feel in me
But the anger striking out overcomes the fear
I don't care from now on if everything caves in
I'll never stop supporting what I believe in
That is, I am who I am

I never got ashamed of what has become of me
It's the feedback that I'll get that scares me
But the fury in me beats the fear that's in
I'll never stop supporting what I believe in
That is; I am who I am

If you don't like it, you can go f*** yourself!
_______________________________
Sorry about the last part folks, I was dead angry when I wrote it and thought that was the most important part of all. Leaving it out would make the poem incomplete. No offence, this is for the ones that especially deserve it.

Alone on Prom Night

Here is a gothic girl, showing her anger against life with her facial expression, standing in a corner, alone on Prom Night... What else is there left to say?

Meet "Bad Seed Drawing"

I was spending some time on Paint yesterday and I realized that my drawings are really not perfect, but yet pretty nice. So I thought I start a site that I exhibit my drawings. (Kind of feels like I stole the idea from you PitJ, sorry about that. :D ) Well, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and check out my drawings at:

http://badseeddrawing.blogspot.com/

BloodRayne

I introduce you "BloodRayne". At least my version of her. She is a computer game character, a dhampir; child of a vampire father and a human mother, protecting humanity from all the supernatural threats that they can't deal with. I really like this game and I play it constantly. I was just spending some time on Microsoft Paint yesterday and this turned out. You can think that maybe she is falling from somewhere or walking on a thin line in a windy place; this is where your imagination kicks in. Thought the blades were a little rushed but I figured it was pretty good as a whole and thought I share it. Hope you like it.

BAD EMULATION

Stop it!
Stop saying it'll be all alright
That what's to come is better than this
That I'll overcome when I fight it
That's just bullshit!
Quote of people seeking a way out
Loaded with the hope of a better life
But I am forever stuck here
With my pain and recycling fear
Eagerly waiting for the end
To get the happiness I thought I deserved but never had
Don't say you understand me as if it's real!
Don't say that you know how I feel!
Encouraging me to a fight I could have never won
Have you ever really loved someone...?

MY LIFE

My nails are wet, so are my eyes
The result of my never ending cries
Me turning into what I despise
Left with no reason to devise
What will become of my life?

I feel I'm surrounded by spies
No trace of any left allies
Feels like all I do is compromise
I fear I will pay a heavy price
Will it be alright with my life?

I ache to the last cell that dies
I'm tired of hearing nothing but lies
And still I'm the one in disguise
I can't see any incoming prize
Can things be fixed in my life?

TELL ME

Tell me again
Tell me about the beautiful world
Where no trouble or sorrow awaits
Everyone is friendly and nice
Without bad intentions in heart
Tell me about the smiling faces
Eyes that look at you with love
Tell me
Tell me about real friendship
No manipulation or scheming involved
A reach of hand only for the sake of good
Tell me about caring
Always being there no matter what
Just to show you really care about
The ones that are there for you
And will be there forever
Tell me about true love
Ones that have half a dream
Because you are not there with them
Tell me
Tell me about being happy
Running around with joy within the soul
Popping out of the bed in the morning
To have another great day
Where sad thoughts are nothing
Tell me about sticking together
Tell me about that
Being there to make another feel better
And not avoiding them
Keeping every promise that is there
Tell me
Because I can't see any

ANGUISH

Every single tear that falls
Leaves a bigger scar on my soul
Trapping me behind these walls
Without a gain taking it's toll

No one is here to hear my voice
Giving me not another choice
But to ignore all the noise
And abandon all life's fake joys

All alone on the planet Earth
Where everything is losing it's worth
In my eyes not a drop of mirth
I curse the day of my birth

I DON'T BELIEVE

I don't believe
That what I see is the plain truth
This life I live
Is exploiting my youth

I don't believe
That tomorrow will be better
No matter how much I give
The pain becomes greater and greater

I don't believe
That things will change one day
Dark clouds won't ever leave
And haunt me until I waste away

I don't believe
Why can't I believe...?