UNTITLED

I could have been very happy right now
But universe chose to make me miserable
By giving me my share of disappointments too much
Showing me ending up with tears is inevitable

I could have been laughing right now
To that same old joke that gets me every time
But how upsetting news come in in a row
It's funny really, I feel left without a dime

I could have been dreaming right now
But everything going on took my sleep away
I will not force myself to, I've had enough
I don't wanna cry myself to sleep anyway

I could have had a smile on my face right now
Thinking of all the great things that will happen
But they got crashed and burned again, as usual
Once again I've been shown that I can never win

For thinking things can change
I have only myself to blame
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The Story of My Life... First the Finland thing, now this... The Sweden trip is off too, people. After looking up all the necessities for getting a visa, I realized that all the expenses that I will have to make, even without the plane ticket, is just too much for us and we can't afford it. It was so stupid of me to think that I can actually do it, go to Sverige. Things are awful, but the thing that hurt me the most is that I managed to disappoint Beccy big time about this. She was looking forward to this as hell, I know. As if it wasn't enough fooling myself, I got her hopes sky high too. It wouldn't be enough no matter how much sorry I got. Dammit. Feels like all I do these days is disappoint everyone. My family, my friends... Especially myself. I mean, what happened? Things were going great... Everything was in order and then... boom. I can only have myself to blame I guess. What was I thinking? It was too good to be true from the beginning. My sadness, my own fault. My own problem to deal with. But still... dammit.

Meet "Bad Seed Drawing"

I was spending some time on Paint yesterday and I realized that my drawings are really not perfect, but yet pretty nice. So I thought I start a site that I exhibit my drawings. (Kind of feels like I stole the idea from you PitJ, sorry about that. :D ) Well, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and check out my drawings at:

http://badseeddrawing.blogspot.com/

Farewell, My Friend!

You guys probably don't know this but I had a turtle until yesterday. Yesterday, because my bro let it go to the sea while I was in school... We had it for so long and lately it seemed depressed, tired and stopped eating it's bait. So, we thought that it was time to let it go to where it really belongs. My bro said that the second he let it go to the shore it ran towards the sea, then came back, took a last look at him as if it was saying "thanks, goodbye" and vanish into the water. Oh, how I felt like crying when I pictured that moment in my head... This post is for the memory of it; farewell, my friend!

Cool or Just Strange?

I had a dream last night, the moment I woke up I thought it was the coolest! But now I think it was just weird... You decide:

I was in school and the kids were talking about some new teacher coming to teach at some Friday class. Guess who the teacher is...? It's CAPTAIN! I know, very surprised myself :P The odd thing was, the lecture took place in the hallway of our apartment! I saw Captain pass by me and head to the bathroom, yes, our bathroom! Then he started to shave without using any foam... He saw me, I smiled, he smiled... WEIRD, I know. Then the dream became even weirder! YES, what I wait for! Poets of the Fall in Turkey! Me at the concert area, with my Nokia 6131 in my hand, waiting for the concert to start. Captain sitting on the stage, no trace of the other band members... Then I get bored and suddenly decide to wander around. At that moment, I get a sudden urge to find Marko! A classmate of mine leads me to somewhere where I might find him (have no idea what she is doing there and how she knows that???). The odd thing is, the building I enter is my elementary school building but when I get inside it gets enormous! Then I start to run, looking everywhere for him! I pass through so many places, enter VIP sections (no control btw, I just burst in??), and finally find a place called a "Band Practice Room"??? Some bands there, practicing with their drummers and guitarists and stuff. I remember hearing Muse too btw, have no idea what they got to do with that?? Then I suddenly see this guy and I ask him where I might find Marko. Strange thing is I ask him like: "Do you know where I might find Saaresto, Marko Saaresto?" I'm speaking English btw... Totally stupid! :P Then a woman comes, they look for him, call him and stuff. Later they tell me that they cant reach him because they mixed some lines up and I'm still very lucky to be there???? In a sec, I panic! I'm like: "OMG, what if the concert is starting without me!!??" I run back, forget all about finding Marko btw... I get back to the concert area and still no one else on stage but Captain... And he was smoking I think, I don't even know if he smokes in real life. Then suddenly I find myself in some dark, foggy alley (the dream becomes black&white btw). I see Marko just for a moment, standing against a wall with some Léon glasses on, then he suddenly disappears! After that I remember seeing Ollie, I try to take his pic and he just starts to run away afraid of the photo flash (my phone doesn't even have a flash btw)!!! Ha ha! Running scared! And I yell behind him something like: "Don't be afraid, I just want to take a photo!", still talking English btw!?? That moment I woke up!

I don't think I've never dreamt of something that I remember this crystal clear before ! Freaky, huh? Pretty stupid too! I normally wouldn't post a dream I had here, but I thought "What the Heck!" on this one, since this is the very first dream I've had involving Poets of the Fall! Ha ha! :D :P

A New Project

Me and our very own Poet in the Jar are working on a project together! It's brand new, so it's going to take some time before we can get into details about it. But patience people! It's going to be cool, at least we think so...

Guitar Madness

Okay, I've never really mentioned it here before, but I've been wanting to get me a guitar for so long! And I finally got one, yay! It's been four days now but I think I'm pretty good at it, though I've got blisters on me fingers now, haha! :D I'm so happy right now!!!!! :D :D Hehe... :P

My New School

Hello Visitors!
First of all I want to thank you for visiting my poetry site. As you can see I wasn't really creative these days. So, I thought I could keep you guys busy with some other stuff until I can write something again.
Well, you probably know that I transferred to a new school this year, I want to show you what it looks like... :

This is the place I go to school everyday. The Faculty of Agriculture building of Akdeniz University.

This is my bus-stop, where I get on and off the bus. I wanted to show you this too because well, it's one of the places that I spend my time the most... Since, the buses don't bother to show up very often.

Another pic from the campus. Some kind of a brigde.

Me... Hehe...

Another one in the campus. This trail leads to the restaurants, book-shops and stuff in the campus. Pretty neat, huh...? :)

The Rectorate building. I think it looks cool.

Well, this is it for now. Thanks... Come again!

BECAUSE I KNOW

A new chapter in my life is beginning
I'm not afraid though it's terrifying
Because I know if I don't let go
Things will turn out the way I want 'em to so

I'm in a new place that I don't know of
But I'm trying not to keep my expectations low
Because I know if I try to do my best
I'll eventually manage to fit in with the rest
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I've transferred to another school this year and I don't know anyone around me. Guess I wanted to comfort myself a bit when I wrote it.

FIT IN

I got the news off guard today
The smile on my face was washed away
But I thought, I'm a human-being
There is no situation we can't fit in
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I wrote this one today, when I found out that my school's opening this week instead of the next. Damn it!