I'M AFRAID

I'm afraid
Of the hesitations I'm having
What I'll miss if I can't get passed them
Afraid of maybe being sorry forever
If I can't build up enough courage
To do something
But I'm also afraid
Of going ahead and doing
What I wanted to do for a long time
But at the end
Just failing
And regreting ever having wanting
I'm afraid
Of being this weak
Not strong enough for holding on
Bearing a big difference
And not being sure I'll survive
I'm afraid of myself
I'm afraid

NOTHING SPECIAL

Nothing special
Just here to tell that I'm going
And not coming back
At least until the dawn
When you understand what you lack

Nothing special
Just here to express my hate
And how I loathe
To show what you take
And just how much you've sunk low

Nothing special
Just here to show my broken heart
And how you broke it
Took all the self-esteem I've got
Without even feeling sorry for it

Nothing special
I've always felt these for you
It's sad but you know it's true
This is what you've made of me
My agony
And how I can never stop hating you
Just wanted to tell you these
And nothing special

PERFECTION

I used to believe in perfection
In the ways things are done
Keeping self strong
Alarmed and protected
From everything around
Feeling of never being wrong
Drifting away with life
And taking everything along
Without forgetting anything
Getting rid of negativity
And feeling absolutely happy
Feeling the freedom of being
Not worrying for anything again
But nothing turns out that way
I still believe in perfection
In being perfectly flawed
Making mistakes time to time
Getting excited over things
And just being who you are
Now that's perfection

SLIPPING AWAY

Another day faded away
And took my dreams with it
Erased my entire life
And took my future with it

No one can see me slipping away
They are too busy to see it
Then they deserve to lose me
And forever live with it

I think this is the final day
From now on I won't fight it
Give in to all of my fears
And hope to vanish with it

DREAMER

When did I become such a dreamer?
Can't go five minutes in real life

When did I become such a dreamer?
To abandon everything I had by my side

When did I become such a dreamer?
Conservative to everything I see around

Life wasn't fair on me
Took everything though I tried so hard
But I had my dreams to carry me through
When life showed me what it's true colors are

Is that why I became such a dreamer?
That I am now
And forever will be

CRAZY

The days are too long
And I'm not strong
Not enough to live through
Another day without you
Please give me strength
Power to move on
Because I can't take it
This sadness I'm feeling
It just makes me sick
And leaves me powerless
In a world of darkness
And pure hopelessness
Imagining is not enough
Not anymore
It doesn't carry me through
I just get more sucked in
In a world of blue
I can't breath
I'm choking on being without you
And it kills me to know
That it's something I gotta get used to
Because you'll never be here
And I'll be forever without you
No one will know
That I'm going crazy
All on my own...

MY EVERYTHING

Here came another evening
Spent without you again
I hate myself for breathing
Spending more time on Earth
Without you in my arms
Living without my everything

The sun is almost up
Another night spent without you
I hate myself for waking up
Getting ready for another day
Without you to stand by me
Moving on without my everything

Here is the weekend again
Another week without you left behind
I hate myself for enjoying it
Laughing at the shows I watch
Without you to watch them with me
Getting by without my everything

You are my everything...
And I hate myself for being without you

NOT ANYMORE

I will not hate again
Make a big deal of things
The ones that left me behind
Will not think of them again
Consider them a bad dream

I'm not furious anymore
With the ones that hurt me
Broke my heart unquestionably
Won't let them cross my mind
Consider them a bad memory

I will not fight in the future
The ones that stand up against me
Do everything they can to wreck me
I will pass them by like nothing
See them as not a part of me

I will not hate anymore
Because I don't care
Not anymore

IN LOVE

I've turned upside down
Sleep during the daylight
And watch the sun go up
I'm a mess without a doubt
But I haven't gone crazy...
I'm just in love

Listen to the clock's ticking
While everyone is sleeping
I just lie here without moving
And daydream during the night
But I haven't lost it...
I'm just in love

I'm waiting for the morning
The sun to shine on my window pane
Think maybe it's you, I'll be hoping
Get out and look for you again
I'm not imagining things...
I'm just in love

START LIVING

When you are not there, neither am I
Is that why I've been lost all my life
Because you were never there...?
Every single day I spent waiting
For you to show at my door
Or a knock on my window pane
Which ended sadly but not surprisingly
With tears in my eyes
And without you here with me
I'm sorry, it's my fault really...
I've never deserved you
Nor the right to wish having you here
But I still have the hope
Maybe someday you'll show
And finally I can start living my life too