EVIL

My view of life has changed completely
I don't even know when it happened
I noticed that there is no good in me
There never was, I just suppressed it perfectly

Now I don't have the strength to do so
Not anymore, I'm letting the evil go

I'm made up of bad thoughts, good deeds
Trying to sustain a normal life like most
Lately I want to see pain by any means
Letting sprout all the bad seeds

Now I see everyone around me as a foe
I don't care, I'm letting the evil go

SÖYLE BANA

Dediğimi anlamamakta inat ediyorsun
Ama kabullendiğinde de çok geç olacak
Bunu sen de biliyorsun
Ama yine de diretiyorsun

Söyle bana
Benden ne istiyorsun?
Ruhum dışında

Zaman durmuyor, geçiyor
Ne kadar çabalarsam çabalayım
Senin hiç umurunda olmuyor
Ne de olsa olan bana oluyor

Söyle bana
Ne verebilirsin ki bana?
Sefalet ve acıdan başka

Benden değil, senden geldi esas şok
Geri dönüşsüz bir yola saptın
Çok geç kaldın artık, çok
Olanların unutulmasının imkanı yok

Söyle bana
Bir nedeni kaldı mı artık uğraşmamın?
Kendime işkencenin yanısıra

P.S.: No idea where Turkish and the story in the poem came from. The song I got stuck on and been listening to about an hour or so led me to write such a sad piece. Still don't know where Turkish came from though. O.o Anyway, here is a rough translation:

TELL ME

You persist on not understanding what I'm saying
But it will be too late when you accept everything
You know that as well
But you still keep on insisting

Tell me
What do you want from me?
Apart from my soul

Time won't stop, it's passing by
No matter how much I try
You never really care
After all, I'm the one going to waste

Tell me
What do you have to give me?
Other than pain and misery

The major shocker came from you, not me
You're past the point of no return
You're too late now, oh so late
What's happened can't be forgotten

Tell me
Are there any reasons left for me to keep on trying?
Except to torture myself

BAD

I can't seem to fall asleep tonight
Have words going through my head
They were harsh, nevertheless right
Saying I'll always have an empty bed

I'm not mad, I just feel sad
Feels like I've never felt this bad

I feel I should stay indoors 24/7
Can't manage to be with the public
My personal hell is my heaven
I feel I deserve worse than I think

I'm not mad, I just feel sad
Fells like I've never felt this bad

It'll probably get worse though
It usually does

NOT KIDDING

I realised my inspiration is dead
As I was lying thoughtfully on my bed
With the poetry book in front, pencil in hand
Staring away minutes as my eyes get filled with sand

It's way past my bed time, I should almost wake up
Birds outside greeting each other, going wussup?
And I'm still awake, thinking the minutes away
As I can't come up with anything to say

I used to write such great poetry
What the hell happened to me?
I can feel the poet in me dying
And no, I'm not kidding

Any ideas?

CELESTIAL DREAMS

I'm deep inside the night with a smile on my face
My soul goes on a flight, getting out of my place
Floating with the clouds, shining with the stars
Leaving the crowd behind, breaking out the bars

My journey continues as the dawn breaks
The city underneath slowly awakes
But I'm already awake, having a daydream
I dream of a soul that doesn't fit the scheme

Time is passing by, but not my joy
Because my dreamworld is all mine to enjoy
Whatever I need is whenever there for me
Whomever I want is wherever here with me

In my dreamworld, the whole world is mine
Especially the one that makes it all divine
The one who gives me power to cross the line
More than any word could ever define
_______________________________
Wrote this together with my good friend Stefan. Turned out rather optimistic, but not surprised about the mood really; he has been there for me so much lately and no words can show how much I appreciate it. Sending my thanks from here. =)

FOOL

You call me 'sweetie'
But only if you need me
Other than that, you wouldn't even see
Where or how I would be

Yet I still don't say 'no'
And try to give you more
I don't even know
Why I do it anymore

I'm a fool of my own habits
Getting only bits and pieces
This is what hope made of me
Hoping things will change maybe

But they never do

RECURRING NIGHTMARE

Scared to walk down the street
Suspect every person I meet
Terrified as I turn around the corner
Don't feel safe any longer

You are in my eyes if not mind
Like a monster of whatever kind
Waiting for the right moment I'm trapped
To make your move and bring my end

You are my recurring nightmare
Always stepping out of nowhere
Stalking me when I least expect
Never giving me a chance to forget

I'M NOT

It's gotten all too obvious by now
What things will come and how
And I gave up trying long ago
I can't break the pattern anyway
So I let myself go in the flow
Get up-survive-sleep-prepare for tomorrow
But this isn't living...
I'm dead on the inside
The pulse is there but not the heart
I'm completely lost in the tide

It's always the same thing day after day
Walking on the same roads, this and that way
And I couldn't take it anymore
Trying only got my hopes up
I could never get what I fought for
Now doing what I should've done before
But there is no joy in this
Everything feels meaningless
The breath is there, but I'm not alive
I'm here, but far away nevertheless

Life is out there, I'm not
I gotta change this

LIE TO ME

Woke up with the truth lying ahead
Showing me what I could've never had
Just how much my efforts are in vain
Ready to point it out all over again

Things are simple, they don't get better
What I have to bear with forever
Why doesn't anyone bother lying to me?
Easing my pain for five minutes
Forgetting it is there

Day continued with real life all over the place
Never letting me have my place
Reminding me of what awaits me
Doomed to live on the same pace

Things are obvious, they are obnoxious
Of what's to come, no need to be curious
Why doesn't anyone bother lying to me?
To save me out of this
For a moment, don't be nauseous

It won't be alright
But the idea would be nice
Even for a second

USE ME

It wouldn't matter if I spent all my time
Fighting trying to make you feel better
Wouldn't change a thing if I gave all I had
So I could be there for you now and whenever
I'd still be the same in your eyes
And I'd be telling myself the same lies
That you'd do the same, too
But you only use me
And that's what you'll ever do