FOOL

You call me 'sweetie'
But only if you need me
Other than that, you wouldn't even see
Where or how I would be

Yet I still don't say 'no'
And try to give you more
I don't even know
Why I do it anymore

I'm a fool of my own habits
Getting only bits and pieces
This is what hope made of me
Hoping things will change maybe

But they never do

RECURRING NIGHTMARE

Scared to walk down the street
Suspect every person I meet
Terrified as I turn around the corner
Don't feel safe any longer

You are in my eyes if not mind
Like a monster of whatever kind
Waiting for the right moment I'm trapped
To make your move and bring my end

You are my recurring nightmare
Always stepping out of nowhere
Stalking me when I least expect
Never giving me a chance to forget

I'M NOT

It's gotten all too obvious by now
What things will come and how
And I gave up trying long ago
I can't break the pattern anyway
So I let myself go in the flow
Get up-survive-sleep-prepare for tomorrow
But this isn't living...
I'm dead on the inside
The pulse is there but not the heart
I'm completely lost in the tide

It's always the same thing day after day
Walking on the same roads, this and that way
And I couldn't take it anymore
Trying only got my hopes up
I could never get what I fought for
Now doing what I should've done before
But there is no joy in this
Everything feels meaningless
The breath is there, but I'm not alive
I'm here, but far away nevertheless

Life is out there, I'm not
I gotta change this

LIE TO ME

Woke up with the truth lying ahead
Showing me what I could've never had
Just how much my efforts are in vain
Ready to point it out all over again

Things are simple, they don't get better
What I have to bear with forever
Why doesn't anyone bother lying to me?
Easing my pain for five minutes
Forgetting it is there

Day continued with real life all over the place
Never letting me have my place
Reminding me of what awaits me
Doomed to live on the same pace

Things are obvious, they are obnoxious
Of what's to come, no need to be curious
Why doesn't anyone bother lying to me?
To save me out of this
For a moment, don't be nauseous

It won't be alright
But the idea would be nice
Even for a second

USE ME

It wouldn't matter if I spent all my time
Fighting trying to make you feel better
Wouldn't change a thing if I gave all I had
So I could be there for you now and whenever
I'd still be the same in your eyes
And I'd be telling myself the same lies
That you'd do the same, too
But you only use me
And that's what you'll ever do