IT AIN'T

Outdid myself today, lost all sense
Some will hate and some will say it's dense
But I found the line now
And I'm jumping over the fence
It ain't suicide if it's self-defense

I'm all done now, made my amends
Had enough of you all, no offense
And I can't take it
It's gotten all too tense
It ain't suicide if it's self-defense

YOUR SMILE

Got my book here and pen in my hand
I can't write and I know why, I can't pretend
I know I've been thinking for a while
Got stuck again thinking about your smile

Time is passing by and I can't fall asleep
Though I'm tired and it's something I need
Because I've been thinking for a while
Got insomniac again thinking about your smile

Got my teddy here and I'm holding it tight
I know exactly why and I can't fight
Again I've been thinking for a while
Got lost again thinking about your smile

IN THE BLUE

You're mad at me for not standing beside you
Because I'm simply just too miserable to
If you have your problems, well, I have mine, too
So give me a break, I'm already lost in the blue

SLOWLY

Holding my breath in the night
Preparing myself for the fight
That I'll have to face the next day
Plus every other day

It got so much harder somehow
Thinking to cope, I don't know how
It'll like something died inside of me
And malfunctioned the rest of me

Now I don't know what to do
Don't know who I could turn to
I'm running out of options it seems like
But it doesn't work like the motto of Nike

But slowly...
I'm getting there slowly...

EVIL

My view of life has changed completely
I don't even know when it happened
I noticed that there is no good in me
There never was, I just suppressed it perfectly

Now I don't have the strength to do so
Not anymore, I'm letting the evil go

I'm made up of bad thoughts, good deeds
Trying to sustain a normal life like most
Lately I want to see pain by any means
Letting sprout all the bad seeds

Now I see everyone around me as a foe
I don't care, I'm letting the evil go

SÖYLE BANA

Dediğimi anlamamakta inat ediyorsun
Ama kabullendiğinde de çok geç olacak
Bunu sen de biliyorsun
Ama yine de diretiyorsun

Söyle bana
Benden ne istiyorsun?
Ruhum dışında

Zaman durmuyor, geçiyor
Ne kadar çabalarsam çabalayım
Senin hiç umurunda olmuyor
Ne de olsa olan bana oluyor

Söyle bana
Ne verebilirsin ki bana?
Sefalet ve acıdan başka

Benden değil, senden geldi esas şok
Geri dönüşsüz bir yola saptın
Çok geç kaldın artık, çok
Olanların unutulmasının imkanı yok

Söyle bana
Bir nedeni kaldı mı artık uğraşmamın?
Kendime işkencenin yanısıra

P.S.: No idea where Turkish and the story in the poem came from. The song I got stuck on and been listening to about an hour or so led me to write such a sad piece. Still don't know where Turkish came from though. O.o Anyway, here is a rough translation:

TELL ME

You persist on not understanding what I'm saying
But it will be too late when you accept everything
You know that as well
But you still keep on insisting

Tell me
What do you want from me?
Apart from my soul

Time won't stop, it's passing by
No matter how much I try
You never really care
After all, I'm the one going to waste

Tell me
What do you have to give me?
Other than pain and misery

The major shocker came from you, not me
You're past the point of no return
You're too late now, oh so late
What's happened can't be forgotten

Tell me
Are there any reasons left for me to keep on trying?
Except to torture myself

BAD

I can't seem to fall asleep tonight
Have words going through my head
They were harsh, nevertheless right
Saying I'll always have an empty bed

I'm not mad, I just feel sad
Feels like I've never felt this bad

I feel I should stay indoors 24/7
Can't manage to be with the public
My personal hell is my heaven
I feel I deserve worse than I think

I'm not mad, I just feel sad
Fells like I've never felt this bad

It'll probably get worse though
It usually does

NOT KIDDING

I realised my inspiration is dead
As I was lying thoughtfully on my bed
With the poetry book in front, pencil in hand
Staring away minutes as my eyes get filled with sand

It's way past my bed time, I should almost wake up
Birds outside greeting each other, going wussup?
And I'm still awake, thinking the minutes away
As I can't come up with anything to say

I used to write such great poetry
What the hell happened to me?
I can feel the poet in me dying
And no, I'm not kidding

Any ideas?

BE PROUD

Thank you for the depression
Didn't have that for a while
Now I can finally catch up

Thank you for the desperation
It was just the thing I needed
Now finally the smiling can stop

You lifted me up
Then dropped me even lower
Be proud

CENTRIFUGAL FORCE

Disappointment hit my door again recently
With that started doing what I always do
Ran and drifted away with the centrifugal force
This is how I found my way back to you

I really shouldn't miss you, but I do
I'm not supposed to, but again thinking of you

At every corner, something I want to avoid
Reminding me of my never-ending pain
So that's why I joined on the centrifugal force
And how I found my place in the rain

I really shouldn't think about you, but I do
I'm not supposed to, but again missing you